Another Dawn
by Kuroi-cho-tsuki-shiro
Summary: Rukia and Byakuya in the aftermath of Kaien's death. A series of shorts based on the story of Bleach from Rukia's point of view. 32
1. Chapter 1

"Is any of this your blood?"

Byakuya's voice broke through her reverie. The floor shuddered as he strode across the room and his shadow fell over her. He hesitated, then knelt and roughly tugged aside the black kimono she wore to reveal the _juban _beneath. It was stained a deep crimson. "Ukitake told me what happened. Are you injured?"

He had his hands on her arms, she realised, holding her. She couldn't recall him ever touching her before, except in anger. "You need to change out of these clothes." There were servants in the doorway. She stared at them, stared at him. Not really seeing. This didn't feel real. She wasn't here and this wasn't now and some part of her would forever be dragging Kaien's body back through the black mud. "Rukia," Byakuya said once. When she didn't respond, he drew her to her feet and, with one hand on her wrist, led her through her quarters.

She wouldn't remember their walk to the bath-house, but she would, in time, remember the blood. It was everywhere. So much of it. One of the maid-servants tried to lead her to the bathtub, but she wouldn't move. There was a storm in the forest. Rain. Still falling. And she couldn't be here; not when Kaien was back there, all alone in the dark. There must have been some mistake; she had never intended to leave him behind. She stiffened as they guided her into the water, twisting away. If she lay back, she could see the blood beginning to coil away from her skin. So she sat forward, pulling her knees tight against her chest, breathing sharply so as not to make a sound. If she were to start screaming now, she might never stop.

The servants were swift and efficient. They called several times for fresh water, their voices taut, as if resenting her imposition. When at last it ran clear, they helped her out and covered her. They spoke in high, fast voices and with words she didn't understand, but as she tried to tie the sheer gown about her waist, she realised her hands were shaking. Footfalls again announced the presence of her brother. The servants left, their own feet scampering across the wooden floors. Then Byakuya's hands pushed her own aside. With several sharp tugs, he knotted the sash. And knelt. Nothing he ever did was gentle. He took both of her wrists, bringing her hands together in front of her as if he would crush them in his own and as if that would prevent her shaking. She felt the small bones in her fingers grind as his grip tightened and he said: "Enough. Stop it."

She stared at him, uncomprehending. And then, slowly, she realised that she hated him. He was asking her for things she could not give; she hated him because he was everything that Kaien was not. She hated him, but, right now, there was nothing left in her to fight. Her legs gave way beneath her.

He caught her as she fell, bundled her up and carried her from the room.

There was the night air as he carried her across the decking, and the rhythm of his footfalls on the wood. Yet her face and her eyes were empty, her mind a suffocating blank. "The lady is ill," he told one of two servants who fell in on his heels: "You will fetch a doctor for her."

"Yes, my Lord."

Then he had carried her into her own room and laid her down on the bedsheets where she was still and quiet because she couldn't remember how to move or why she had ever wanted to. He drew the silk covers up over her body and sat staring for a long time. She couldn't seem to shut her eyes. Yet, at the same time, she was not fully awake and it seemed to her that hours passed before he finally got to his feet and crossed the room to where she had discarded her kimono and _zanpakuto. _Gathering them both into his arms, he turned to the servant in the doorway:

"Stay with her tonight."

"Yes, my Lord."

"Never speak of this. Do you understand?"

"Yes, my Lord."


	2. Chapter 2

Days later, she would tell Byakuya:

"I ran because I was afraid. Then I stopped because I was ashamed, _Nii-sama. _When I raised my sword I was scared. I killed him for no reason but that I was afraid."

Those words, her words, still haunted her, following her through the years, all the way to the Shrine of Penitence and to the very last dawn.

A strange calm had come over her: "Kaien-_dono," _she said aloud. She had thought of him often, but never once had she allowed herself to remember, in such detail, the night of his death. In a way, she was relieved that, not only could she remember, but, in remembering, had not changed or been burned away by her emotions. They had not destroyed her. Despite everything, she had carried on living, and the details were there. Every one of them, tucked away safely in her memory, as if, despite everything, she was not willing to let them go.

Kaien's name was never mentioned in her presence now. The position of vice-captain remained unfilled. She wondered, often, if she was the only one who noticed that glaring absence.

And then this boy had stepped into her world. Ichigo had reminded her of Kaien from the start. She'd known that, but hadn't dared to trust it. He was brash, like Kaien: rude sometimes, and prone to doing what he believed was right, even when it was wrong. Even his looks were similar to Kaien's. So much so that her brother had remarked upon it. And that sense of having found someone who saw her for what she was. Not a street-girl. Not a noble-woman. Not something to be pitied or protected. Just a woman. That had been the same with Kaien.

She sighed and laid her hands across her belly. Lives were strange when you considered them in their entirety, birth to death. So much time spent striving for respect, recognition, understanding. Perhaps it was the searching itself that had distracted her and made her miss the parts that really mattered: the sunny afternoons, the stupid arguments, even the way Byakuya had sat for so long at her bedside that night. She hadn't remembered that until now.

Then the key turned, and the doors of the shrine were pushed open and sunlight washed over her body. She might have sat up, but it occurred to her that there was no need. They would come for her anyway.

***************************END OF TRACK 3 *********************************************

_She never slows down._

_She doesn't know why, but she knows that when she's all alone_

_It feels like it's all coming down._

_The shadows are long and she fears if she cries that first tear,_

_The tears will not stop raining down, _

_So stand in the rain, _

_Stand your ground._

_**From "Stand in the Rain," Superchick**_

_Once, my heart beat to the rhythm of the fallen snow._

_Blackened below, that river now flows,_

_A stream of molten, virgin snow,_

_For the heart I'll never have,_

_For the child, forever gone._

_**From "For the Heart I Once Had," Nightwish**_


	3. Chapter 3

**If you enjoyed this story, please keep reading as it will continue in "I LIE," which I will upload to my profile shortly after posting this. :)**

**All my thanks and appreciation to regular readers:**

**Shadewolf7, Truantpony, ForbiddenME, Pinky357, Immortal Vows, Chellythemadhatter, Insomniatic95, Sallythedestroyerofworlds23, UNTensaZangetsu, XDark FangsX, Superlynx, Ichigoforeverlove, Ennaalemap, Makaykay15, Kaze05, Splash into Forever, War90, Yellowwomanonthebrink, Bakane, Night Flower, Hallmarktrinity, Tiffany Park, Snowcrystals, Neristhaed, Splitheart1120, VanillaTwilight4, Nightfur, Happykiller93, Haildance, Ani-mimi, Mysticalphoenix-avalon, Jennyrdr and Goranr.**

**And everyone else who is reading and reviewing. THANK YOU!**

**FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS**

This time, I can actually _call _these frequently-asked because they have been asked by more than one of you!

**1. Will you continue the story after the Soul Society arc into Hueco Mundo and the seventeen month break?**

Right, this is a tough one. First off, I like to see the whole arc before I start writing, so I can see where to devlop the characters and where the pivotal moments will be. Bearing that in mind, I've started writing Hueco Mundo because I just enjoy writing these characters so much. XD However, I won't start posting it until I've got a good idea of where it's going and that I can finish it. Currently, I have a rough plan running from just after the end of the Soul Society arc all the way to Ichigo's loss of powers (minus filler eps) because I can't see an easy break or resolution until that point. However, that's a helluva lot of episodes! So I'm not promising anything.

**2. Have you written or published anything else?**

Aw, thank you to the ppl who have asked this! I finished a novel set in Ancient Egypt about nine years ago - never published, of course. . However, I think my writing has developed since then. Although I love the characters, I don't feel the plot was strong. I have published academically on the topic of funerary symbolism in Ancient Egypt and that's available from Amazon. (Yay!) However, I really lost my confidence for fiction a few years ago and didn't write for a long time. This fanfic was something I started writing purely for myself and it's been fantastic that I've been able to share it here where everyone's been so supportive. It'll probably be read here more than it ever would were it published and, since I'm not about money, I am very happy to continue writing here.

**3. Why you change things?**

Ah, sorry. Apart from failures of memory on my part and a few points where I've gone along with the musicals more than I have the anime/manga, there have been a few changes which I've just kind of made at the time. Apologies! Truant noticed that I moved Miyako Shiba from Squad 13 to Squad 4. I _thought _she was squad 13, but, at the time, couldn't quite remember and was right in the middle of writing and "squad 4" just popped out of her mouth. You're gonna be upset because I'm afraid Hisana has been moved into the _79th _district of Rukongai rather than the 78th, (which actually fulfils a plot point I needed) and, in the upcoming chapter, I've changed a little of the dialogue with Ichimaru Gin. Mainly it's just me going along with the flow rather than breaking and correcting what I've written. I've stuck with the changes where I've been happy with them, so I'm sorry if it jars if you know the scenes well.


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